Bye Mom, I Love You...

"Bye Mom!  I love you!" 

Words that echoed through the dark hallway down to my my room at 4:30 this morning right before the door closed...

And just like that, he was on his way...driving his own truck to the gym.

This wasn't the first time I heard those words before dawn or the first time he drove himself there...but this particular day, when the echo stopped, I found myself realizing that one day, in the near future, I wouldn't be hearing those words as frequently coming and going out of our house.  I sighed.

Yep, this growing up is hard stuff.

I wanted to jump up and see if he got everything he needed to go to school after workouts...the mom in me ~last week~ would have...but I am learning to let go...little pieces at a time.  Okay, confession...I am forcing myself to let go!  All the while, learning, I suppose. I guess the reality is that when you do something for seventeen years it is pretty hard to not do it anymore...

Change.

Change is hard.  But change is so needed and it is necessary...in all facets of life.  

We certainly are not meant to stay in one season all of our lives...seasons pass, they come and go...and I am doing my best to adjust the sails as the wind blows...as the season is changing. 
(preaching to the choir on that one!)

Thus says the "sensible mama" in me...

Yeah, blah, blah, blah...I know!

But the "sappy mama"in me laid in bed thinking about how much I missed our rides to the gym, fields and school...sigh.  The struggle is real.  

Then came the "praying mama!"  She kicked in until Nathan text me and told me he arrived at the gym safely.  

For those of you with toddlers or little ones, don't laugh!  And for you veteran mamas that have already kissed a child or two goodbye for college, you may chuckle a little...you may even reminisce about your experience of letting go...I am always open to pieces of advice...and chocolate!  

I've polled many mamas lately...
The majority of mamas of girls say it is easier to let them go than the mamas of boys...hmmmm? (Raising both of my hands in the air)  This has been a notable difference...some mamas have said that it is simply because the girls are ready and seem to be more responsible...

That is where "the new mama" comes in...I am prying my fingers off of him so I don't hold him back from being ready for what is ahead...

Oh boy, this new mama, she is hard to handle!  But we are going to make it!

About 5:00 this morning, my phone alerted...it was Nathan,...he was at  the gym...a sigh of relief accompanied me as I closed my eyes and wondered how long this would last...how long will he text me to let me know he has arrived somewhere safely?  

I don't know the answer right now...I know that will end as well...but not today.

I will take "today" all day long...
I will hold "today" captive within the walls of my heart...
I will cherish "today" until I can't remember it anymore...

And when I can't remember "today" anymore, I'm pretty sure I am going to have a picture of "it" somewhere...and that makes this mama smile!  


Signing off,


Sappy Senior Mama







Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

My Three Sons...Our Story

Image
The making of this mama has been a very unexpected journey... I must admit, at the first sign of the pink line, I had piles and piles of books on pregnancy; you know the ones that tell you what to expect. Yep, I had those! We took Lamaze classes; you know to help with the breathing and all! Hah! I thought I was so prepared with literature and breathing techniques, boy was I ever wrong! I  didn't  know what to expect with any of my boys! Here we go! The spring of 2000 would bring me to the delivery room for the first time! Excited, scared and definitely not sure what to expect, (although I had read all of the books on what to expect) I gave birth to our first son, Nathan. He was beautiful, almost 9 pounds of beautiful. The delivery was pretty fast and I was able to pull him from my womb and put him directly on my chest. It was amazing! That was definitely unexpected as the doctor asked me if I wanted to pull him out. I remember freaking out for a half of a s...
Read more

A Message from a Baseball Mama's Heart...

Image
I have a few words to share...this post is from my heart...and perhaps geared to the younger ones starting the travel ball circuit...and also to the parents of the kids who are on the ball circuit now... Nathan has been playing ball since he was four years old. He was five when he knew his dream was to play college baseball. Throughout the years of little league, travel ball, middle school ball and high school ball, we have seen a lot! We have experienced a lot! And if we could go back (to the younger years) and do things a little differently, I think we would. We have lived and we have learned. But along the journey, we have had some really good times and some really bad times...good coaches, bad coaches...good parents, parents that stab you in the back. Yep, all of the above, if I am being honest. And I have no reason for not being honest. This post is to perhaps share our learned experiences to help those coming up... Through the good and the bad, one thing we NEVE...
Read more

About College...and Stuff

Image
The day after Christmas I was strolling through the mall, having a frappuccino and a good ole' time listening to mall music...I turned the corner and and there IT was staring at me with no apologies...sitting there taunting me, flaunting the inevitable right before my eyes, streamers and all...shiny, Happy New Year hats with "2018" floating atop of them like they were going to party like it was 1999... It was then it hit me...my baby boy was going to be a graduate of the class of 2018...I have known this since he was born...I have had many years to prepare for this...but in this very moment, I felt not prepared at all...I was not ready! I am a visual person so for me, seeing the numbers on the party hats and headbands just gutted me for a minute... Reality...the year was not "on the way..."  IT was here! And here I am in the middle of IT... IT is time!  IT is here!  IT is happening! I am doing my best to embrace IT and evolve into ...
Read more