Fears, Fishing and Family

Today I am going to mix it up a little...this post is not about crying over a "Sappy Senior Mama" moment...it is about embracing treasured time with my family, overcoming fears to do so and making memories we will never forget!  These "SON DAYS" are the BEST DAYS!  These "SON DAYS" make me smile!  These "SON DAYS" bring joy to my heart!  And I am going to share our special "SON DAY" with you here...

Y'all, we went deep sea fishing!  It was amazing and exhilarating!  Something I had never experienced and that our boys had not either.

I learned quite a bit on that boat...actually the learning process started before I ever got on it...

I was fearful of the "unknown."  I was fearful of what I had never done before.  You can believe that before I went to bed Friday night I was Googling deep sea fishing and all that jazz!  I even called to see if Todd wanted to go in my place because I was afraid my body with the injuries and disabilities that I have wouldn't be able to handle the waters and the hours away from land.  I was allowing fear to take the opportunity away from me to have an amazing adventure with my family!  That process started in my head...

Fear was powerful and giving me such hesitation about jumping in for this adventure with my family!

After about an hour, I finally turned Google off and just pushed my fears aside!

Fear sure has a lot of power over us, right?  Sometimes fear can prevent us from the most amazing adventures!  Fear almost took this from me...keep reading!

From the moment we arrived at the dock, I was all in!  (Oh, I was still fearful, yes!  But I had my game day face and outfit on!)  I was ready to make the most out of the incredible opportunity given to us as a family to go out together and make memories we will never forget!

It was 5:00 a.m. when we arrived and loaded up in the boat.  It was the four of us and our awesome captain!  We headed out of the dock and into the open waters and I just held onto Ronnie's leg as tight as I could...the boat was fast and it was DARK!  Talk about wake me up!  Nathan leaned in and put his arm around me and held me secure...Will was sitting in front of us in the captain's chair and I could see the profile of his smile from the moonlight...this was a memory in the making for sure!  The faster we went, the more I could hear Will laughing!  I began to smile...this was certainly going to be quite the day...

As the sun peaked above the water, Nathan started taking funny videos of us as the wind was wreaking havoc on our hair and faces...he knew how to make me smile, relax and enjoy the view that was happening right before our eyes!  He  thanked me for coming with them and told me "Everything will be fine, Mama."  Big sigh...followed by a big hug and "I got you, Mama!"  Ronnie gave me a wink and a smile...that was all I needed!  All I needed was right there with me...

WOW!  The sunrise out in the middle of nowhere on the ocean was breathtaking!  When the captain anchored the boat, I took a great big breath out and realized this very moment is what we have needed for a long time now!  We didn't need to connect with the outside world, we didn't need to talk about school, football, baseball, college or career choices...we just needed to be STILL together and ENJOY the moment that we were in...

And y'all, we did just that!  I had no idea that this kind of therapy was so needed for us!

We fished!  We laughed!  We definitely trash talked each other on who was going to catch the biggest fish...We didn't talk or worry about one other thing but what we were doing in that very moment!  It was amazing!

I share about this trip today with you all for two reasons...

1. Don't let the fear of the unknown keep you from persevering through to the other side!  

2. Find some way, some time, to get your family together and don't talk about the things that are always on the table!  Take a BREAK from it and embrace the moment!  Find something and make that time count without other agendas, other plans or other things on your mind!

If you know my story, you know my disabilities and my handicaps...and you know I had a legitimate reason to stay on dry land...but if you know my story, you also know how determined I am to make memories with my boys and that I work very hard to overcome obstacles that would otherwise keep me from participating in such events...

Many of you may struggle with fears...you have a friend in me!  Been there, done that and currently own the t-shirt...I have just learned to jazz the t-shirt up a bit to make me smile!  I hope you will find the strength on your journey to conquer your fears!  I hope that you don't miss an opportunity because fear is holding you back!  I hope you won't call someone else to take your place like I did!  I hope you can get in the boat!  (even when it is dark outside!)  And more importantly, if you are struggling with fears, I hope you have someone to hold your hand through them...it makes getting in a dark boat a lot easier!  Big hugs to you all!

Now...

I guess it's time to let you all know who caught the biggest fish...

I don't want to brag or anything like that but it is the same girl who caught a shark and reeled it in by herself (with awesome coaching from the captain)...the girl who almost let FEAR win her day!  The girl who almost let FEAR take her day with her family!  The girl who called to see if someone else could take her place because she was afraid she couldn't handle it...

That girl is me!  

Yes, I caught the biggest fish and a shark...I was terrified reeling the shark in and I even tried to give the captain my pole and he said no, you are going to do it!  And I did!  See, my fear was going to keep me from doing that too!  

When the captain released the shark, I saw him swim away and I wanted to do a happy dance for two reasons: 1. Because he was off of the boat!  2.  Because I fought the fight (of fear) in my head long before I stepped on that boat and I fought the fight at that moment when I was reeling that shark in!  I conquered that fear!  And it was amazing! 

There are just too many memories from this day to talk about, but forever I will hold them close in my heart!  I will remember the lesson that I learned that day about fear...I will remember my biggest (and scariest) catch...but most importantly I will remember the hours spent out on the water with my family that the world just stopped and we fished!  Because that is honestly what it felt like happened!  And every now and then, I am thinking that is a good thing to experience!

I know that fear can eat us up...fear can stop us...fear can control us...but when you don't let it, amazing things can happen!  

It was no surprise that this trip on the water set me back physically for a bit...there is always a trade off for me with my injuries and participating in "LIFE" but this experience and time with my family was SO worth it!

I sign off today with a grateful heart, not because I caught the biggest fish, not because I caught a shark but because I caught the most amazing memories with the people I needed to catch them with the most!  And FEAR DID NOT STOP ME!

Signing off,

Sappy Senior Mama

AND Shark Catcher!  (wink, wink!)